Struggling with myself, and trying to find the energy to connect with my photographs, I found myself instead procrastinating by googling some of my classmates from art school. I wanted to see what they were all up to, and to see how my life, work, and accomplishments stacked up.
Doing these kinds of things, it is always easy to feel poorly about oneself. I got to thinking, however, about an email I sent to a friend just the other day. My friend contacted me, feeling in the dumps for not receiving a grant. I reponded by saying:
Speaking from experience, you can’t let this kind of shit get to you. There are a couple of nice pictures in this selection of grant recipients, but for the most part it is just wallowing in its own trendiness. One of the reasons I don’t apply for things like this very often is that I don’t really want to feel like one among many, but would rather feel one with myself (and thus true to my ideals).
Being true to yourself; that’s harder than it sounds.