I was cheered
when I first came to know
that there were flowers also
William Carlos Williams
It was about midnight and I was in bed, my body asleep from exhaustion but my mind too high to rest. My mind teetered between dreams and waking life. The phone rang, disrupting my state. I knew who was on the line, I was expecting her call, but I didn’t answer thinking it too late for me to see her. She hung up after a few rings and immediately called back. This time I answered.
“Hi. Did I wake you?” O$#! asked.
“Yes, I fell asleep watching a movie.”
“Do you want to come for a visit?”
I hesitated. “Oh, I don’t know….”
“Come over!” she pleaded. “Come over. You have no excuse.”
I was reluctant, but conceded; I did really want to see her.
O$#! met me at her front door and let me in. She was dressed for bed, wearing light weight summer pajamas, a silky top with only thin straps holding the shoulders and shorts for bottoms, both a cream color with lacy red trim.
Together we went to her bed to lie down, walking quietly up the stairs. She lay next to me, close so that our bodies were touching. Her skin smelled of alcohol, a night drinking. We both took turns accounting for our time since we were last together. I held her close and felt all of her warmth.
I began to caress her, running my fingers through her hair and touching her cheeks. I rubbed her chest and breasts, free under the light fabric, and I rubbed her thighs and her ass. I felt aggressive and I climbed on top of her, rubbing harder like I wanted to pull some energy from her body. I tried to pull her shorts down so that I could feel more, find more of her energy.
“The shorts stay on. That’s one of the rules. I’m having my period,” O$#! told me.
I stayed on top of her and we continued to rub our bodies together. Soon our energies quieted and we both fell asleep, my arm still wrapped around her chest.
About two hours later, she woke up startled. “Oh my God. Wake up. You have to go. We fell asleep.”
I was confused, so ruptured from my sleep. Groggy, I could offer no response. I kissed her cheek softly and left. I wanted to stay. I went to see her just wanting to lie the night together. I was confused by what started as pleading and ended as such a dismissal.